Charlotte, Author at Zande Law

Avoiding The Snowball Effect

26 March 2025 11:35 am Leave a Comment

The golden rule in coparenting is that effective communication is crucial.

It can be tempting to ignore or delay replying when you see a message from the other parent and, let’s face it, most people would prefer not talking to an ex if they had the choice. However, this is where the problems often start and not communicating (or not doing so appropriately) can easily make everything worse.

Where it is safe to do so, having a quality communication channel with the other parent prevents small problems from turning into big ones and the key to stopping this snowballing effect is for both parents to follow some fundamental rules of communication.

Be polite and start with a greeting.

Don’t ever insult the other parent or imply that they’re not doing as good a job.

Keep the messages to the point and factual so the other parent can respond in the same manner.

Always get the other parent’s side of the story on any incident first rather than jumping to conclusions.

Assume that everything you write will be brought up at some point in the future to someone important.

Acknowledging receipt of messages from the other parent is important and, if you can’t reply straight away, provide a reasonable timeframe for when you’ll respond.

If your child misses a call from the other parent, organise a time for them to call back.

If you need some help, try using a parenting communication app but always call if there is an emergency.

There are plenty more rules, but these will stop a lot of molehills from turning into mountains which makes for a far smoother coparenting experience. If nothing else, it’s always beneficial for kids when they can see both parents on the same page and getting along.

Joshua Noble is an Accredited Family Law Specialist at Zande Law located at Suite 3, Jade Chambers, 15 Middle Street, Cleveland. To contact Josh for advice, please phone (07) 3385 0999 to schedule an appointment.

The information in this article is merely a guide and not a full explanation of the law. This firm cannot take responsibility for any action readers take based on this information. When making decisions that could affect your legal rights, please contact us for professional advice.

Next Article: Parenting Coordination and Family Law Parenting Orders

Parenting Coordination and Family Law Parenting Orders

5 March 2025 10:46 am Leave a Comment

After lengthy legal proceedings to obtain Parenting Orders, it can be disheartening for parents when one parent continues to act in a way that is not supported by the Orders; for example, by using abusive language, denigrating the other parent, or otherwise doing or failing to do particular things with or around the children.

Although the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) contains provisions that allow a parent to take the ‘offending’ parent to court for alleged breaches of Parenting Orders, the threat of court proceedings doesn’t always deter this behaviour. Very commonly, the court acts leniently towards the offending parent because fining, imprisoning, or imposing some other sanction on a parent always carries the risk that it could harm the children.

A potential solution to this problem is for the parents to jointly engage a Parenting Coordination (‘PC’) service. PC is an alternate dispute resolution technique that assists parents in effectively communicating, managing and resolving conflicts related to Parenting Orders and Parenting Plans. Parenting coordinators help co-parents by establishing clear rules for engagement, encouraging cooperation and curtailing hostility. The intention is to resolve disputes outside of court, and avoid the stresses and cost of further court applications.

In practice, if Orders state that the parents are not to use abusive language in communications with each other and one parent continues to do so after the Orders are made, then the parenting coordinator can stop and advise the parent that their behaviour may be in breach of the Orders, remind them of the sanctions the Court might impose, counsel the parent on how to appropriately communicate in that matter, and seek to be copied into future communications to minimise recurrent events.

Another advantage of PC is that none of the parents’ interactions with the parenting coordinator are protected by any confidentiality or immunity. Therefore if the ‘abusive’ parent continues to use abusive language even after conversations with the parenting coordinator, these communications can be presented to a Judge.

For these reasons PC services are certainly increasing in popularity amongst our clients and are an incredibly useful resource for parents seeking to enforce Parenting Orders or Parenting Plans outside of court.

Madeline Crnkovic, Law Student and Paralegal at Zande Law Solicitors, Suite 9, Norwinn Centre, 15 Discovery Drive, North Lakes, is the author of this article, training in the areas of Wills, Estates and Family Law.

The information in this article is merely a guide and is not a full explanation of the law. This firm cannot take responsibility for any action readers take based on this information. When making decisions that could affect your legal rights, please contact us for professional advice.

What happens if one parent wants to move away?

20 February 2025 11:20 am Leave a Comment

It’s not uncommon for a recently-separated parent to want to move away with the children and often the reasons include wanting to be closer to family, a change in employment, a new relationship or even fleeing domestic violence.

There is no prescribed distance that defines simply moving and moving ‘away’ so changing residence to another house five minutes down the road is fine. However, if the distance makes it significantly more difficult for the children to spend time with the other parent, you’ll need either consent or permission from the Court.

A proposed relocation by one parent is determined the same way as any other case – finding out the best interests of the children and then carrying those out.

Where it is safe to do so, having a discussion – or series of them – with the other parent as to what a possible relocation would mean for the children’s time with them is a good place to start and, if that doesn’t work, attending a mediation is generally the next step.

If Court proceedings become required because the parents still can’t agree on the children’s future arrangements, the judge will consider a variety of factors such as the benefits of relocating, the legitimate desire of a parent to live elsewhere and the (probable) diminishment of the children’s relationships with the other parent.

If you’re wanting to relocate away with your children, it’s best to begin the process as early as possible before the proposed move. Major decisions such as these can take a long time in Court to resolve and you don’t want your life to be left in limbo while you wait for any permission to leave.

Managing High Conflict Parenting Disputes

5 February 2025 11:15 am Leave a Comment

A common feature in many parenting disputes is that either or both parents find themselves in perpetual and recycling states of conflict with the other parent. As a result, whether a required decision is relatively easy or hard, the parents are unable to find a consensus and decisions generally only come when one parent gives into the constant badgering or obstruction from the other. In such cases, how does the Court then manage the dispute?

Whilst every case is obviously slightly different from any other, the Court’s general approach can be summarised as follows:

The Court’s focus is always on the best interest of the children;
Where conflict is high, the children’s best interests would not be served by giving each parent equal time and forcing the children to move between two war zones; and
If one parent is the only or predominant agitator, it unfortunately becomes the responsibility of the other parent to absorb any aggression and become the voice of calm and reason so that the Court can have confidence that the situation will improve.

Whilst it is certainly very frustrating to see the trouble-making parent seemingly win out over the solution focused peace-keeping parent by simply making more trouble, it has to be accepted that no one is ever truly innocent in creating a relationship breakdown. At one time and in one way or another, each parent will have contributed to the mess and the reality is that some parents heal faster than others.

In dispute resolution it is a common saying that “we can only move as fast as the slowest person in the room.” Accordingly, if it is the case that one parent is struggling to adjust to a new post-separation co-parenting regime and wants to keep up the fight in retaliation for past hurts, that is simply something that has to be worked through rather than instantaneously invalidated and dismissed.

Ultimately though, if the troublemaker keeps it up and doesn’t wake up to themselves, the Orders which are proposed by the solution focused peace-keeping parent who demonstrates a better attitude towards working with the other parent generally wins the day and perhaps more importantly, a better relationship with the children.

Michael Zande is a Queensland Law Society Accredited Family Law Specialist with over 30 years’ experience in the field. He is the principal at Zande Law Solicitors, Suite 9, Norwinn Centre, 15 Discovery Drive, North Lakes. To contact Michael for advice, phone (07) 3385 0999.

What happens to your body when you pass away?

15 January 2025 11:00 am Leave a Comment

Most people make Wills that specify how their estate should be distributed, including specifying where their monies, home, and personal items will go. Often however, many people do not give instructions as to how they want their remains to be dealt with after death. In that instance, the law provides some direction.

In Queensland, executors and administrators have a duty to arrange for the burial or cremation of the deceased as the body is considered an estate asset. The Succession Act 1981 (Qld) also allows for funeral expenses to have priority over all other expenses, so even if there is very little money in the estate, the deceased person can have the dignity of a cremation or burial.

However, family members may have deeply held opinions about burial or cremation, or the type of memorial service that should be held, which can cause further disputes about funeral arrangements.

In the most recent New South Wales case of Dayman v Dayman [2024], the deceased died with a 1992 Will that nominated his ex-wife as the executor of his estate and did not make directions for funeral arrangements. Funeral arrangements had been delayed due to disputes about the reported cause of death, and so the deceased’s daughter made applications to the Supreme Court of New South Wales for the executor to relinquish her role and release the deceased’s body from the coroner to a funeral director for immediate cremation.

A new dispute then arose about the distribution of ashes, and the Court ultimately ordered that they be distributed equally between his daughter, his sister, and his current partner. However, the Court did not order that the ex-wife step away as executor on account of the estate being small.

The takeaway from this was that the Court recognised that religious, cultural and spiritual considerations are an important aspect of burial rights, and executors should take into account any known wishes of the deceased and consult with family members and friends when making funeral arrangements.

Certainly, making your wishes known not only simplifies the task of administering an estate for your executors, but allows your loved ones to rest assured knowing they are doing the right thing.

Bader Pendergast-Lee is a Solicitor at Zande Law Solicitors, Suite 9, Norwinn Centre, 15 Discovery Drive, North Lakes, practicing in the areas of Wills, Estates and Family Law. If you need legal advice in relation to your Will or a deceased estate matter, we encourage you to make an enquiry with our office.

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Author Archives: Charlotte

Avoiding The Snowball Effect

Parenting Coordination and Family Law Parenting Orders

What happens if one parent wants to move away?

Managing High Conflict Parenting Disputes

What happens to your body when you pass away?

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